Doctors make the worst patients.

It's easier to tell your patients to do this and do that..
Than being told to do this and do that..
Do u know the most difficult thing is compliance to take your medications on time ?
At least for me.
And i only have to take 2 tablets.
Imagine those who have to take 7 different tablets at different times a day.
Not to mention the insulin jabs the diabetics have to endure each meal time.
Being in a hospital when you are the doctor is not as scary as being in the hospital as a patient.
Firstly because - doctors poke, patients get poked. Haha.
A lot of times i will get this from the doctors who came to poke me : You poke people everyday, so why should u be scared of being poked ?
Because i can feel the pain - Duh.
And i am such a pain.
I always warn them - only one prick please.
Or worse - If you are not confident please call someone else.
I pick my own veins for them to poke.
I choose the size of the needle.
I hang up my own drip.
I give my own medications via the drip.
I requested my own medications.
If possible i won't let anyone touch me unnecessarily.
All in all - I am my own bloody doctor a.k.a - a PAIN.

But one important lesson learnt throughout my experience as a patient :
It is really therapeutic to be attended by nice doctors who empathise and sympathise with what u are going through.
So what was taught during health in society back in med school really makes sense to me now - i can relate to it.
And it doesn't take a lot of effort or time - just a nod, a warm smile, a pat on the shoulder, a kind word.
And it does make a big difference and goes a long way.
So let's all be better doctors. And better patients. Heh..

The reason...

..why i have a lot of time on my hands is because, i am hospitalised for hyperemesis - severe vomiting due to pregnancy.
This is my 4th admission.
It's very bad, at times i felt like dying.
I'm sure death is much more painful (nauzubillah) but for someone who (alhamdulillah), had nvr been sick her whole lifetime -
this is a huge test.
A few times had i broke down and cried, felt like giving up coz i can't bear it anymore.. afterall i'm only human. (may Allah forgive my weakness)
How severe is it ? Or am i just a cry baby ?
Imagine : vomiting your intestines out every hour, being left with this pain due to excessive vomiting and retching, sleepless nights, and repeating it all over again the following day - for 2 months.
Doesn't help that I'm terrified of needles.
But i had too many pokes now that i've grown out of my fear - something like cognitive behavioural therapy. Haha.
How really severe is it ?
They have given me the anti-vomiting they give to cancer patients undergoing chemo.
And now i'm on steroids - pretty much reached the end of the hyperemesis treatment ladder.
Ok. every cloud has a silver lining.
My silver lining is - i can fit into my old jeans and skirts now that i've lost 10kgs. Hah !
We are 16 weeks + 1 day pregnant today and i can feel that I am getting better.. thank u Allah.
Would also like to extend my gratitude to my hubs, family, friends, colleagues, my doctors and nurses - i wouldn't have made it this far alone.

And to go through everything without hubby by my side is a bigger challenge.
We are doing this long distance marriage thingy, he's in germany and i'm here, just 6000 miles apart. Just.
Oh well.
In the mean time, we have to accept the fact that we can't be together because Allah hasn't permitted it yet.
Yes, it is a struggle, but it's the hardships that make u a better person in life, right ?
They always said : count your blessings.
I know for a fact that i can count on the unconditional love from my much better half.
And that for me is perfectly enough.

A new beginning ?

Hi and assalamualaikum..

It's been too long now hasn't it ?
Oh well..
At certain times, there will come a need for blogging.
When u have too much going on in your head and need a channel to express them..
Or u just gotta share a feeling, and u do it better if u put it in writing..
Or, in my case - u just have too much time, and you're just.. what is the word -- bored.

Soo..
A year later, and what did we miss ?
A lot.
Although none of it was in my 2011's resolution list, but it's pretty much everything that a girl could wish for - in a lifetime. Heh.
Where do we start.. let's see.
I got married in June.
Oh. Before that.
I went travelling solo for a whole 2 months.
Of coz it was all spontaneous and unplanned.
Just woke up one day and said to myself : Okay, let's go somewhere.
And started buying all the cheap airline tickets to anywhere.
Of coz there are some places that i wanted to visit more than others - like istanbul and venice for instance.
First stop - Munich, Germany.
That's where i met my other half - only i didn't know it yet, then.
Also met a lot of wonderful people and long lost friends. It was fab.
Was introduced to my hubs at a barbeque, on a lovely spring afternoon - by a bunch of people who are shy themselves. Haha.
So there wasn't much conversation, only exchanged a few shy glances.. of coz i pretended i was busy doing something else at the moment.. heh.. girls are all about the drama, aren't we ?
But the drama works - when he asked his friend for my number and offered to show me around Salzburg the next day, which is only an hour away by train.
So we went.. and everything else is history..
People said when u found the one, u will know instantly.
I remember i used to ask all my girlfriends who were getting married : how can they know for sure that they want to marry the guy ?
Aren't there any doubts ?
At all ?
And all the time i'll get the same answer - No. They just know. It's a feeling.
I didn't understand what they were referring to - a feeling.
What kind of feeling ?
Until i met this guy, and i felt it.
It is true. And it is real.
Or maybe because i'm already 28 and I don't wanna end up alone.
Haha..
Ok, jokes aside..
I don't know for sure.
Someone once told me - it's all about timing.
Although u've found the right guy, but when the timing is not right, u won't end up with him. Is that right?
Oh well.. whatever it is.. i'm so glad that i've found my person..
And what i do believe in is jodoh..
Quote from the popular novelist, Habiburrahman : “.. Jodoh itu terkadang dikejar-kejar tidak tertangkap. Tapi terkadang datang sendiri. Yang paling penting adalah dekat dengan Allah dalam keadaan susah dan bahagia. Senang dan sedih.”

Ok that's all for now.
Btw, i'm now 16 weeks pregnant, praise be to Allah SWT.
That requires a whole different post..
Which i may write in an hour's time.. heh..

Taylor Swift

My five year old niece on seeing Taylor Swift's picture on CLEO.

She : Is that Taylor Swift ?
Me : Yes.
She : Does she live in our world ?
Me : Which world do you think she lives in ?
She : America ?

Hello.

"Tell me how to win your heart,
For I haven't got a clue,
But let me start by saying,
I love you."

Beautiful lyrics.
More beautiful song.
Hello by Lionel Richie.

Reading - When the wind blows, James patterson

Malaysian signboards are not bad at all.
They get me to places.
So far... so good.

Lately been having weird dreams.
Very weird.
Ppl say u dream because u think too much.
About that thing that u dream about.
Is that true ?

I am spending too much lately.
I don't care coz...
i just don't care.
Should i ?

Life.

Reading : Textbook af Anaesthetic by Aikenhead

We are never happy with what we have.
We always want something more.
Something better.
Something different.
And in the process...
we often forget the nice and good things that is actually happening to and around us.
So what we should really do is -
Stop complaining, be happy :) and just enjoy...
life !